I'll Say A Prayer For You

Dearly departed, I love you so. The last year of my lover’s life was bitter and cold for me and I spent it out in the world chasing “Fool’s Gold.” Lavish single’s parties and upscale happy hours were my main attraction. I danced with the devil as I chased “Fool’s Gold.”

Geto Boys said it best: “my mind played tricks on me.” I struggled with the question: should I stay or should I go? I tried to fight for life by watching inspirational documentaries about gospel or about famous people that I admired, like Nina Simone. 

Forgive me father, my mind was dangerously wicked and it deceived me. “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.” You gave me time to share joy, laughter, and love. I am eternally grateful. I have walked this land blessed with the blessing of life. Just like you. Just like you I shall rejoice and reminisce about the happiness and love that will live within me for all my days here on earth.

For me, Nina Simone’s, “What Happened, Miss Simone” was an incredible documentary. Her famous song of protest “Mississippi Goddam,” is a true testament to her courageous spirit, with which I truly felt a bond. In 1964, Nina performed “Mississippi Goddam” to a predominantly white audience and explicitly expressed her outrage for the decades of cold-blooded murder and injustice committed against Black Americans that was sanctioned by the police and other government officials. This bold stance put her entire career on the line. And it created a barrier between with her and her white audiences. 

Mississippi Goddam

Hound dogs on my trail,
School children sitting in jail,
Black cat cross my path,
I think every day’s going to be my last.

Lord have mercy on this land of mine,
We all gonna get it in due time,
I don’t belong here,
I don’t belong there,
I even stopped believing in prayer.

“Mississippi Goddam” is so powerful because the lyrics force you to think about Medgar Edgar, Emmet Till, Eric Garner, and countless other slain black men who were unjustly killed by evil men or by those who were dutifully sworn to protect and serve.

Just for a moment, imagine if you can how truly broken and damaged inside beyond all hope a God-fearing person would have to be to stop believing in the power of prayer. How much horror? How frightening would a beast or a demon have to be to take away your faith in the power of the love of God? Nina’s cites her own act of hopelessness: “I even stopped believing in prayer.” This is a testament to the horrors of the brutality of the times. Just as real is the power of God in all of us: “Though I walk in the midst of trouble, You will revive me; You will stretch out Your hand against the wrath of my enemies, and Your right hand will save me.” (Psalm 138). All you have to do is believe.

It’s amazing in life to learn in who and where we find our inspiration. Another great lyricist touched my heart. I hope you are able to continue to walk with me. Nas said it best in “Ether”:

I’ve been fucked over, left for dead, dissed and forgotten,
Luck ran out, they hoped that I’d be gone, stiff and rotten,
Ya’ll just piss on me, shit on me, spit on my grave
Talk about me, laugh behind my back but in my face
Ya’ll some “well wishers,” friendly acting, envy hiding snakes.

How much can we take? Countless Emmet Tills and Trayvon Martins were “fucked over, left for dead, dissed and forgotten!” Mississippi Goddam!

It’s unbelievable that “Ether” was written in 2001 by a rapper describing his relationships of betrayal, deception, and maybe a little fantasy— of “homicide,” heartbreak, and sorrow. Nas foreshadowed in his lyrics the account of a national, tragic murder of an innocent young black male over a decade later. Walking home one night, Trayvon Martin was “fucked over, left for dead, dissed and forgotten.” The legal system failed him as it failed Emmet Till in his sham of a trial, where his killer was also allowed to go free. How much can we take?

My grandmother once told me—and I truly believe this—that “what you do in the dark eventually comes to light,” no matter how long it takes. I believe justice will be served. I believe in a day when we will live in freedom—true freedom! I believe the future will give us freedom from fear of brutality from corrupt principalities.

In life, a higher power gives us the ability to gain strength from one another, past and present. So whoever you are, and wherever you are, I hope you fight to be the best that you can be, live life, and give love “’Till You Collapse.” I hope my words can reach you the way WYBC has empowered me to stand on my feet, to seek my inner strength, and share my creativity. I searched my entire life to find a great place to belong. I stand here today proud to be bold, black and beautiful. I salute you, WYBC.